Lame

This day has been just lame.

One of those every thing you said out to do goes, well, not well? I was all excited for it, first snow day of the year and all that.

Ha.

Today was one of those stupid days. Saying it didn't go well, really seems an understatement. For example, we tried to set up the tree. Its 8 years old and simply dead...and things went downhill from there from the extreme: Gas in eye of 12 year old to the aluminum foil being completely messed up (that stuffs expensive!) to thing on the wall being broke, "THE" comb being lost (and yes, I have bought more of THE comb the mysteriously disappear around here and I'm down to just one again!) and all things in between (have you ever rewrapped a frozen turkey? its even harder when your foild is all messed up) I haven't touched on the constant fighting that occured. Oy. I'm sure no one is nominating me for Mother of the year.

Oh, I also didn't get my MIL Bday gift delivered. (insert head slap!) She lives 2 BLOCKS from me, this shouldn't be hard...and it wouldn't have been...if this day hadn't been one of THOSE days.

Anyway. I'm going to bed. Clinic tomorrow and the roads will most likely be icy. Even tough its a clinic day it has to be better then today.

Its the end of the month..will I keep writing? Perhaps, its theraputic. And maybe I'll get better at it!

Organizing and a joke

Hey ho its Monday....I tackled the laundry, all 8 loads are done! And I reorganized the cabinets and it finally occured to me that I need a drug cabinet. Its a lovely thing....I could get all weepy or snarky about this....I'm just going to leave it alone. I have a designated one in my kitchen now. Oy.

And now for the joke!

One man said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count......



And those who can't!

mmmmwah!

I'm behind

Today I woke up feeling a little stressed and behind. My baby will turn 4 next week...and I've done NOTHING about it which is unlike me and ridiculous a bit as its all we've talked about around here for the last 2 weeks.

A few trips to some stores today and we got 'er all fixed up. I feel better.

Oh wait, Christmas is HOW MANY DAYS AWAY???

Crud.

Time to decorate

I started with my blog.....


like?

Ahhh research

Update from yesterdays post....I did some internet digging. Apparently G's rages/tantrums are completely part of the deal for someone undergoing chemo. I read where one person discribed it as being 9 1/2 mo pregnant, for 3 years. Another who said that children were unfortunate because they can't refuse treatment, adults can, and some say they would rather die then go through it.

So, its apparently just part of the new "normal" around here.

I really am starting to dislike that phrase.

What did people do before the internet? They had to feel so alone in this. Being able to read and learn more is a true comfort.

Feeling thankful

I struggled with it today. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am for those things. But mostly my heart was just sad. Its been a rough rough fall. So many rotten things happening to people I know...or know through people. A friend lost her son the first day of school, another her son after 2 weeks in Afghanistan. A friend diagnosed with MS. Another who has brain cancer...and the meds aren't working...who lost her brother today. Another, more of an aquaintence, who's daughter's Leukemia came back. Add broken bones, kid issues, and our own Leukemia beast to fight,and I just feel quiet and sad inside.

Today was a truely nice day with family. Everyone got along, no one said anything dumb that hurt peoples feelings. It was all just very nice. G did great! I was so grateful that we had stayed yesterday and got her blood transfusion instead of putting it off.

Then on the way home she threw a fit that isn't like any fit she's thrown before being diagnosed with cancer. Its actually the second time she's had it, but this time was way worse. She freakes out, grabs her head and starts chanting: I can't stop thinking so many things!!! She throws whatevers handy, and whips off clothes she can, tonight being her had, her shoes and socks.

Is this an overtired 4 year old thing? Is this a reaction to chemo? Is this brain damage from radiation? I want so badly for it just to be the first thing. There were no real triggers, she was sitting in the car and started chanting real quiet at first. Then it escalated and went to freak out zone. Crying shrieking and then chanting. I tried getting her to take deep breaths, to talk it out, I tried singing (this escalated things) J tried to play with her during a short calm period before round two. The first round lasted 15 minutes, then a 10 minute break and then another almost 15 min when she cried herself to sleep.

I hate thinking this could be something to do with treatment. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate all the bad stuff that seems to be pelting everyone around.

Its hard to have a truely thankful heart when you just feel sad.

I AM thankful that tomorrow is another day, and hopefully things will seem clearer.

The Weather

The media made a big deal about it. BIG.

I checked all the radars last night. I searched HARD for this storm. All I could see was a cloud that would bring some precip. That should melt upon contact as we were to reach temps above 30.

The media (this included weatherman) INSISTED we were in a winter weather advisory.
I'm still waiting to see it...even after driving around here for 5 hours today.

And they get paid the big bucks.