Boy that was a rant.
Summer apparently also means having random thoughts that are constantly interupted (house full of kids my 4+ random other ones) until they explode out of your brain. (see previous post) Summer also means going more places, seeing more people and having more comments thrown your way out of the blue. Winter people and places are used to the way we look. Summer people and places, not so much. Winter routine lulls me in complacency. Summer jerks me back out of it. Oh yeah, thats right...we're "different. Summer is also exhausting and keeping your "cool" just that much harder. But I'll work on it.
So in contrast to my rant. This weekend we went camping (again) AND the campsite next to us was very close. The man of the site next to us said in parting, you have a beautiful family. I'll take that. :)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Adoption bugs
I am Mom to 4 kiddos who are completely mine, through adoption. Something that has been around since the dawn of time practicly, but is still it is not really understood by people who are not directly affected by it. (even though it is amazing how connected people can try to make themselves to it when they want to be...but that is for another post)
I have experience on 2 of the three traditional sides of adoption. Its a bit unique. But my post today is on bugs from the perspective of an adoptive parent.
My oldest is neary the ripe old age of 10. 10 people. It is absolutely shocking to me the things people will ask in FRONT of him. Things like, "are they brothers and sisters" I of course answer yes!!! And STILL people persist with the, 'you know what I mean". It stuns me. My children are beautiful and unique. They do not look like each other. Not even a little bit. How can people be so dumb???? Do they even stop to think about how asking questions like that in front of a not yet 10 year old will do to his understanding? We do talk about it for the record.
The other thing that has happened or has been said to me this summer is in reference to the kids' birth families. "its probably best they don't have contact" "do you have to send updates" "do the kids ask" I have ZERO problems talking about adoption. At an appropriate time and place. Play groups, not so much the place to delve into such things so much. And for the record, I have the utmost respect for my kids' other parents.
My last gripe(for today anyway) is this one. My kids are my kids. Not my adopted kids. Please do not introduce them as such. Adoption is how we came to be a family. Its something that happened. It doesn't keep happenig.
There I feel better.
I have experience on 2 of the three traditional sides of adoption. Its a bit unique. But my post today is on bugs from the perspective of an adoptive parent.
My oldest is neary the ripe old age of 10. 10 people. It is absolutely shocking to me the things people will ask in FRONT of him. Things like, "are they brothers and sisters" I of course answer yes!!! And STILL people persist with the, 'you know what I mean". It stuns me. My children are beautiful and unique. They do not look like each other. Not even a little bit. How can people be so dumb???? Do they even stop to think about how asking questions like that in front of a not yet 10 year old will do to his understanding? We do talk about it for the record.
The other thing that has happened or has been said to me this summer is in reference to the kids' birth families. "its probably best they don't have contact" "do you have to send updates" "do the kids ask" I have ZERO problems talking about adoption. At an appropriate time and place. Play groups, not so much the place to delve into such things so much. And for the record, I have the utmost respect for my kids' other parents.
My last gripe(for today anyway) is this one. My kids are my kids. Not my adopted kids. Please do not introduce them as such. Adoption is how we came to be a family. Its something that happened. It doesn't keep happenig.
There I feel better.
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