My Dad has prostate cancer.
I hate cancer.
He told me about it Wednesday night.
I had a good cry about it finally this Friday afternoon....until my daughter interrupted and I covered.
I hate this
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Are you my Mother?
OHHHHHH!!! You must be a foster Mom!!!
NOT. that was the latest one I got when I took my crew to the grocery store. I said emphatically, "NOPE, I'm their Mom." Then the lady went on with her story/connection to adoption as is usual with the situation. And I had the opportunitiy to say, and I said it loudly this time. Well these kiddos are all mine. For cripes sakes, my son is nearly 9 years old and standing RIGHT THERE! Do these people not think that perhaps the meat department at the local grocery store is NOT the place to have this discussion. OR do people just simply not think.
I'm guessing the later.
It doesn't get a whole lot better when I was at Walmart with my 3 girls. And the check out lady asks if they are all the same family. Yes I say. And then she says, no, well you know what I mean. And because I was afraid she would explain what she meant if I played dumb, and my 7 year old was standing there I just said they are now. I was trying not to be overly rude because she had already stated she has seen us at church. She wondered this because the kids look so similar. WHAT?????? They really don't. Not at all.
WHY do perfect strangers feel compelled to comment on my family. We are not a freak show. Try some empathy please folks. Would YOU like to explain your families birth story every time you go out in public?? Is it anyones business???? I am usually fighting down the urge to say, "I'd rather not talk about this here" I don't or haven't because I am also trying to teach my kids it is nothing to be ashamed of. That it isn't a taboo subject. The older ones are now getting old enough that I can explain that it isn't evryones business I suppose. But what about my younger two who really stand out the most.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
NOT. that was the latest one I got when I took my crew to the grocery store. I said emphatically, "NOPE, I'm their Mom." Then the lady went on with her story/connection to adoption as is usual with the situation. And I had the opportunitiy to say, and I said it loudly this time. Well these kiddos are all mine. For cripes sakes, my son is nearly 9 years old and standing RIGHT THERE! Do these people not think that perhaps the meat department at the local grocery store is NOT the place to have this discussion. OR do people just simply not think.
I'm guessing the later.
It doesn't get a whole lot better when I was at Walmart with my 3 girls. And the check out lady asks if they are all the same family. Yes I say. And then she says, no, well you know what I mean. And because I was afraid she would explain what she meant if I played dumb, and my 7 year old was standing there I just said they are now. I was trying not to be overly rude because she had already stated she has seen us at church. She wondered this because the kids look so similar. WHAT?????? They really don't. Not at all.
WHY do perfect strangers feel compelled to comment on my family. We are not a freak show. Try some empathy please folks. Would YOU like to explain your families birth story every time you go out in public?? Is it anyones business???? I am usually fighting down the urge to say, "I'd rather not talk about this here" I don't or haven't because I am also trying to teach my kids it is nothing to be ashamed of. That it isn't a taboo subject. The older ones are now getting old enough that I can explain that it isn't evryones business I suppose. But what about my younger two who really stand out the most.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Other Mother
My kids have another Mother. All 4.
After we adopted our first kiddo I had some thoughts that lent towards doing everything just perfect in order to raise the perfect son. One his Other Mother would also be proud of. And then I suppose she would pat me on the back and say well done! Almost a dreamlike setting if you will. I firmly called this Other Mother by her first name. I was after all the one doing all the hard work. I was earning the rights to the name. You betcha.
I probably have. But only because I had to. She didn't. She just was. And I can/could call her any imaginable name (and there are more then half a dozen out there anymore....birthmom, natural mom, first mom.....and so on) but it doesn't really matter because she is my sons Other Mother. He has 2. So do my 3 girls. We don't get to talk with them often, the Other Mothers. Really not at all. Decisions that were made for us that we agreed to. Initially I thought for the best and as years move on less so. But again, it doesn't really matter because it is what it is and what I agreed to. What the Other Mother wanted. At least at the time.
There may come a day when we get to have more of a relationship with the Other Mother's. And I no longer have a dream sense idea of what it will be like to see her again with my grown son. I hope we will both just be able to enjoy who ever he is all the flaws included. I know we will. And maybe just skip any sort of back patting.
After we adopted our first kiddo I had some thoughts that lent towards doing everything just perfect in order to raise the perfect son. One his Other Mother would also be proud of. And then I suppose she would pat me on the back and say well done! Almost a dreamlike setting if you will. I firmly called this Other Mother by her first name. I was after all the one doing all the hard work. I was earning the rights to the name. You betcha.
I probably have. But only because I had to. She didn't. She just was. And I can/could call her any imaginable name (and there are more then half a dozen out there anymore....birthmom, natural mom, first mom.....and so on) but it doesn't really matter because she is my sons Other Mother. He has 2. So do my 3 girls. We don't get to talk with them often, the Other Mothers. Really not at all. Decisions that were made for us that we agreed to. Initially I thought for the best and as years move on less so. But again, it doesn't really matter because it is what it is and what I agreed to. What the Other Mother wanted. At least at the time.
There may come a day when we get to have more of a relationship with the Other Mother's. And I no longer have a dream sense idea of what it will be like to see her again with my grown son. I hope we will both just be able to enjoy who ever he is all the flaws included. I know we will. And maybe just skip any sort of back patting.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Baby come back....
My baby came back today! She has been sooooo busy in her little 8 month world learning to crawl, pull up and generally explore her world that is seems she has time for Mom only for eating, changing and a few quick hugs for the last few weeks. Today its all about Mom! No one else can hold me and I only want to play with her to. Does my Mommy heart happy as I didn't realize just how much I had missed her. Aren't all the stages they go through just amazing?
We are hitting the potty training trail HARD this week. Many have said, just wait until September.....my list for September is getting to be more then huge I tell ya. And so being fed up with a nearly 3 year old who has ALL the skills to do it...just won't hit me this past weekend. And Monday was P -day so to speak. We were 50/50 yesterday....but today has been awesome! She has been awake now for 3 1/2 hours, no accidents. And very independent about it all to.
A happy day
We are hitting the potty training trail HARD this week. Many have said, just wait until September.....my list for September is getting to be more then huge I tell ya. And so being fed up with a nearly 3 year old who has ALL the skills to do it...just won't hit me this past weekend. And Monday was P -day so to speak. We were 50/50 yesterday....but today has been awesome! She has been awake now for 3 1/2 hours, no accidents. And very independent about it all to.
A happy day
Thursday, August 16, 2007
August musings
Summer sure has a way of speeding along doens't it?
The older two kiddos will be in school in just 2 short weeks. Wow. Mixed feelings on that one. I welcome the return to routine for the most part, but will miss them being around more. I can't believe my oldest will be in third grade. I taught that grade once upon a time.
jumping right along in my thoughts.....
I was reading a blog the other day and was struck by the phrase I'm going to take liberties to quote: "do not feel guilty because you are not the "good mommy" that someone else says you need to be" I love that. I have good kids. Not perfect, but good. I had something to do with that. Not everything, but enough. Every once in awhile I am guilty of trying to live to someone elses Mommying (is that a word) standards. It always makes me nuts, but I do it anyway. Anytime I catch myself doing that I'm going to remember the above quote. And just be MY kids' mom.
The older two kiddos will be in school in just 2 short weeks. Wow. Mixed feelings on that one. I welcome the return to routine for the most part, but will miss them being around more. I can't believe my oldest will be in third grade. I taught that grade once upon a time.
jumping right along in my thoughts.....
I was reading a blog the other day and was struck by the phrase I'm going to take liberties to quote: "do not feel guilty because you are not the "good mommy" that someone else says you need to be" I love that. I have good kids. Not perfect, but good. I had something to do with that. Not everything, but enough. Every once in awhile I am guilty of trying to live to someone elses Mommying (is that a word) standards. It always makes me nuts, but I do it anyway. Anytime I catch myself doing that I'm going to remember the above quote. And just be MY kids' mom.
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